Don’t Throw Your Meat at Jimmy…

good advice for holiday shoppers

Santa arrived at my local mall on November 4th.  Yes, November 4th: four days after Halloween.  My jack-o-lanterns aren’t even rotten and the man in red has kicked off the holiday shopping season.  I don’t like to lecture, but let’s all take a deep breath and try to remember that being nasty to store employees will get you nowhere.

Employees like Jimmy.  Jimmy works at my favorite grocery store.  I’ve been shopping there for years and I talk to Jimmy just about every time I shop.  Jimmy started as a bagger when he was 16 years old and he’s still there 40 years later, working as a cashier and customer serivce associate.

Now, if you’ve ever worked in retail, you know that great communication and customer service skills are imperative.  If you don’t have patience with people, you won’t last as long as Kim Kardashian’s marriage.  So, obviously, Jimmy has what it takes to keep the customers happy.  He’s polite and helpful and goes out of his way to show interest and compassion by engaging customers in conversation.  He makes the drudgery of shopping infinitely more pleasant.  But once in a while, even Jimmy can’t make a customer happy.

On a recent Friday, the store was busier than usual because a rare autumn snowstorm was predicted for the next day.  People were stocking up like they always do when snow is coming, and their nerves were frazzled.  Jimmy was manning a cash register and was in his usual pleasant mood.  Now, Jimmy handles stressed and impatient customers every day, but on this particular Friday he was confronted with a woman who would stand out from all other impatient customers for a long time.  We’ll call her Katrina.

Katrina only needed one thing that day — a package of ground meat for meatloaf — and she needed it NOW.  As Jimmy was ringing up another customer,  Katrina stormed (haha) to the front of the line and announced that she was in a hurry.  “I need to be rung up NOW.  I’m late,” she said.  As nicely as he could, Jimmy explained that he could not interrupt the current sale to ring her purchase, but if the other customers in line didn’t mind, he would ring her next.  The other customers were kind enough to agree.  Katrina, however, was not satisfied.  She had the nerve to demand that Jimmy cancel the current transaction; she was sure the customer wouldn’t mind.  Jimmy kept his cool and insisted he would quickly complete the sale and be with her within a few minutes.  Now, if she had walked out in a huff or had moved on to try to intimidate another cashier, I wouldn’t have been surprised, given her cranky attitude; but, no, Katrina picked up her package of meat, THREW IT AT JIMMY, and called him a BITCH!  Oh yes she did.  Then she marched over to customer service to complain.  Luckily for Jimmy, the people in line behind Katrina marched right behind her and defended Jimmy.  Outnumbered and embarrassed, Katrina rushed out of the store.

So, Katrina didn’t get her meat and I’m willing to bet she won’t be showing her face in that store for quite some time.  So the next time she’s in a hurry, she’ll most likely have to go to a less convenient location.  That should do wonders for her lovable disposition.

Now this all sounds ridiculous and maybe unbelievable to some (it’s true. I swear!), but I’m sure you’ve all witnessed rude customers, especially during the stressful holidays.  Just remember when you’re about to lose your cool that there really are more good people than bad and they’re standing by to defend the store employees. Behaving badly in a store will get you nowhere.  A smile and a little patience will get you everywhere, and you may even be lucky enough to get to know Jimmy.

Believe it or not

It was an act of kindness I know I needed to accomplish.

Those are the words of Josh Ripley, a junior at Andover High School in Minnesota, after he carried Lakeville South freshman Mark Paulauskas to safety during the Applejack Invite 5k Race.

Josh had just rounded a corner in the race, a spot with no spectators or coaches, when he saw Mark propped up against a fence clenching his bloody ankle.  Apparently another runner’s spikes had accidentally collided with Mark’s ankle, slicing a three-inch gash to the bone.  Josh immediately went to the much smaller boy, picked him up and carried him to safety as one would cradle a baby. The entire way, Josh offered words of comfort to Mark and safely delivered him to the coaches.  Then he continued the race.

Needless to say, Josh did not win the race, but he won a lot of fans, and a lot of appreciation from Mark, his coaches and family.  Like most heroes, Josh is modest and humble.  When asked why he was the only runner to stop, he simply said, “runners get in the zone” and sometimes don’t notice too much of what’s going on around them.  What a kind young man.  Thanks, Josh, for a very special random act of kindness.

For more on the story, check out the ABC News link:  http://abcnews.go.com/US/minnesota-high-school-runner-josh-ripley-called-hero/story?id=14585732

Keep dancing, Chaz

In my last post, I spoke about the kindness of our children and how, by our example and with our encouragement, acts of kindness come easy to them.  A monumental act of kindness that young people often show better than their parents is acceptance of others who are different from them.  Don’t deny your children an opportunity to witness moments of acceptance and love.

With that idea in mind, I’d like to say thank you, America, for showing Chaz Bono some love!  Thank you for voting to keep him on the show to dance another week. I’m a big Dancing with the Stars fan and I was disappointed and frustrated with the comments of some parents prior to the airing of the show: disappointed when some expressed major concern — even anger — about the possibility of their young children watching the show with a transgendered man performing.  Big fans of the show were going to boycott it (meanwhile they were probably allowing their kids to watch murders, promiscuity, hatefulness, and bullying five nights a week). I wanted to ask those parents, if your children are paying attention to the talk about Chaz, don’t you think they’re old enough to understand your explanation of it?  YOUR explanation — as explicit or as simple as you want to make it.  The younger kids only see dancing and fancy costumes, paying little attention to the controversy.

Ok, I’m getting away from the point I’m trying to make, which is that the benefit your children get from watching Dancing with the Stars this season has little to do with sex changes and everything to do with courage, life’s struggles, acceptance, compassion, kindness, love, and support.  Have you talked to them about the courage it takes to step onto that stage, especially when you’re the latest subject of ridicule?  And last night, when Tom Bergeron announced that Chaz and his partner were safe from elimination, the heartwarming reaction of the young dancers on stage said it all:  We support you, we encourage you, we’re proud of you.  Did you point that out to your children?  The young dancers — men and women; Russians, Italians, Australians, Americans; gay and straight; black, white, hispanic and biracial — all of them brilliantly talented, hard-working young people — rallied around Chaz and wrapped him up in their arms in an emotional group hug, a group hug for a man who has had struggles most of us can’t comprehend. Wouldn’t you love to teach your children that kind of compassion? Isn’t that what they can take from this?  Acceptance. Love. Kindness.

Start small…

Just when you think your children are self-absorbed, lackadaisical little sloths, they surprise you with acts of kindness.  It might be a simple act of giving you a hug when you’re having a bad day, saying “I love you, too” when it’s been a while since you heard that, or emptying the dishwasher without being asked.  If you’re really lucky, you get to see them going beyond their family and friends and doing something nice for a neighbor, a classmate, or even a stranger.  Chances are, they feel compelled to do these things because they’ve witnessed acts of kindness from teachers, friends, and, of course, you, and they know how great it feels to do something nice.

They’re never too young to learn that they can make a difference, that one kind act for a neighbor may not change the world, but it could change the world for that one neighbor.

In my search for great stories and great resources for people looking for ways to spread kindness, I’ve happened upon news stories that involve the youngest kind strangers.  At a preschool in Missoula, Montana, the 3- and 4-year-old students turn into superheroes for a few days each month.  Donned in adorable home-made capes, living every preschooler’s dream, they are “Superheroes of Kindness,” and they’re learning to make a difference by visiting senior citizen centers, cleaning up their neighborhood, and taking part in other acts of kindness, following their teacher’s lead (“Montana Kids Turn Into ‘Superheroes of Kindness,'” By Asieh Namdar, CNN; http://articles.cnn.com/2011-09-03/world/qanda.kindness.superheroes_1_superheroes-kindness-random-acts?_s=PM:WORLD ). They learn that being “superheroes,” really can give them magical powers!

Share your kind acts with your children!  Teachers, parents, neighbors… pass on the joy of random acts of kindness.

“Being considerate of others will take your children further in life than any college degree.”  –Marian Wright Edelman, winner of the Presidential Medal of Honor and author of several books, including I Can Make a Difference: A Treasury to Inspire Our Children (New York: HarperCollins. ISBN0060280514).

Kindness on 9/11/11

Yes, “I Love You This Big” is a Scotty McCreery song, a song I love, but this site is not about love songs, country music stars or American Idol winners.  It’s about changing the world, or each one’s place in the world, through kindness, love, peace and compassion.

A great way to start is by recognizing the tenth anniversary of 9/11 with random acts of kindness. Recognize that the horribly historic day was not just about the attacks, but about compassion:  compassion expressed by firefighters, police officers, nurses, soldiers, civilians, and everyday citizens who went out of their way to reach out to their fellow-man to rescue, comfort, support, encourage, and assist.

This is certainly not meant to diminish the meaning of September 11 nor to  redefine it.  To quote journalist Jay S. Winuk, “September 11 is a day for reflection, and its historical and emotional significance should not lessen with time or be diminished in any way.  It is a day to focus on the substantial lessons learned.”  It is a day to remember those lessons in compassion.

So, take a moment to go out of your way for someone else.  Find stories and ideas here and at the websites I’ve shared, and feel free to share your plans for random acts of kindness here, too.

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”   ~Dalai Lama